I Am the ‘Boys Have a Penis’ Kid from the Arnold Schwarzenegger Comedy: A Look Back.
Arnold Schwarzenegger is universally recognized as an iconic tough guy. But, during the peak of his star power in the eighties and nineties, he also starred in several surprisingly great comedies. A prime example is Kindergarten Cop, which hits its three-and-a-half decade milestone this holiday season.
The Role and That Line
In the hit comedy, Schwarzenegger plays a undercover cop who masquerades as a kindergarten teacher to locate a fugitive. For much of the movie, the procedural element acts as a simple backdrop for Arnold to have charming moments with his young class. The most unforgettable belongs to a little boy named Joseph, who unprompted stands up and informs the former bodybuilder, “It's boys who have a penis, and girls get a vagina.” Arnold replies icily, “I appreciate the insight.”
The young actor was played by youth performer Miko Hughes. His career included a recurring role on Full House as the bully to the Olsen twins and the haunting part of the child who returns in the film version of Stephen King’s Pet Sematary. He still works in film today, with a slate of movies listed on his IMDb. Furthermore, he engages with fans at popular culture events. Not long ago recalled his memories from the filming of the classic after all this time.
A Young Actor's Perspective
Q: To begin, how old were you when you filmed Kindergarten Cop?
Miko Hughes: I believe I was four. I was the smallest of all the kids on set.
That's remarkable, I can't remember being four. Do you remember anything from that time?
Yeah, a little bit. They're snapshots. They're like picture memories.
Do you recall how you were cast in Kindergarten Cop?
My family, especially my mother would take me to auditions. Often it was a mass tryout. There'd be dozens of children and we'd all patiently queue, enter the casting office, be in there for a very short time, do whatever little line they wanted and that was it. My parents would help me learn the words and then, as soon as I could read, that was some of the first material I was reading.
Do you have an impression of meeting Arnold? What was your take on him?
He was incredibly nice. He was enjoyable. He was pleasant, which arguably makes sense. It'd be weird if he was a dick to all the kids in the classroom, that likely wouldn't create a positive atmosphere. He was fun to be around.
“It'd be weird if he was unpleasant to all the kids in the classroom.”
I understood he was a major movie star because my family informed me, but I had not actually watched his movies. I knew the air around him — he was a big deal — but he didn't frighten me. He was just fun and I just wanted to play with him when he wasn't busy. He was busy, obviously, but he'd occasionally joke around here and there, and we would dangle from his limbs. He'd flex and we'd be holding on. He was incredibly giving. He gifted all the students in the classroom a personal stereo, which at the time was the hottest tech. That was the coolest device, that funky old yellow cassette player. I used to rock out to the Power Rangers soundtrack and the Ninja Turtles soundtrack for ages on that thing. It wore out in time. I also was given a genuine metal whistle. He had the coach whistle, and the kids all received one too as well.
Do you remember your experience as being positive?
You know, it's amusing, that movie became a phenomenon. It was such a big movie, and it was such an amazing experience, and you would think, looking back now, I would want my memories to be of collaborating with Schwarzenegger, the legendary director, traveling to Oregon, the production design, but my memories are of being a selective diner at lunch. For example, they got everyone pizza, but I didn't even like pizza. All I would eat was the pepperoni off the top. Then, the Nintendo Game Boy was just released. That was the big craze, and I was pretty good at it. I was the youngest and some of the older kids would ask for my help to get past hard parts on games because I knew how, and I was quite pleased with myself. So, it's all childhood recollections.
The Line
OK, that specific dialogue, do you remember anything about it? Did you understand the words?
At the time, I wasn't fully aware of what the word shocking meant, but I realized it got a reaction and it made adults laugh. I knew it was kind of something I shouldn't normally say, but I was given an exception in this case because it was funny.
“My mom thought hard about it.”
How it was conceived, from what I understand, was they didn't have specific roles. Some character lines were written into the script, but once they had the entire ensemble assembled, it wasn't pure improvisation, but they developed it during shooting and, reportedly the filmmakers came to my mom and said, "There's a concept. We want Miko to deliver this dialogue. Are you okay with this?" My mom paused. She said, "Let me think about it, I need time" and took a short while. She deliberated carefully. She said she had doubts, but she thought it will probably be one of the unforgettable moments from the movie and her instinct was correct.
